Dear Ms. Anyhooo,
Forgive me, but I do not have a question to ask. But I still wanted to share with you and your readers my experience in the hope it might help other families and friends come back together.
My name is Stella, and my husband is Lars. We have three children under the age of 16. Both of us grew up very close to our extended family, even living in close proximity to many of them. Until Covid, we would gather in different combinations at least twice a month and always had entire families together around holidays. The vaccinations changed everything.
We chose not to vaccinate while all other extended family members made a different decision for themselves. We were honest and open and did not expect the ostracization we received. We were removed from all invites and visits were not allowed – this included our children and their grandparents. This was a traumatic event for our family in multiple ways. We could respect others’ sincere fears and honor their wishes. But it was the total disdain and shaming that accompanied their decisions that crushed us. We were the topic of gossip and smear campaigns that we were conspiracy nuts or worse, dunces. The family would not even keep in touch by computer or phone and made demanding edicts that we comply or else kind of thing.
This lasted for a year and a half and was hardest on our kids who could not grasp such indifference. No matter how much new information we would share with them on the subject they simply hardened their stances and called us kooks. It did not help that we were known Trump supporters either despite having nothing to do with our medical decision on vaccinations. Like so many in our country, we became what President Biden labeled “the pandemic of the unvaccinated” and “the other.”
There were times I felt I was losing my mind and I slipped into a mild depression I sought treatment for. It was not long before the very sick in our family tree started with long Covid and sadly even death. Like flies, people started to drop, and as this would happen someone would break ranks and contact us for our thoughts on the matter. This is when we would get an earful on the hateful trash-talking that went on behind our backs as well as hear the panic in the caller’s voice. So conflicted now if to boost or not, and fearful they would end up out of the family like us.
It was late June 2022 after so much new data broke through the censorship and the CDC confessions that the dam broke. My husband’s parents called and asked to meet with us by then they were quadrupled vaxxed and had each suffered Covid twice. We obliged and met them in our home around the kitchen table. What poured out of them was great sorrow and regret and they stated they were speaking for the majority of the family members on both sides. We listened but felt less than a sincere apology and more of a Q& A on how we felt they could help themselves stay well post-vaccination. The meeting ended rather still cool, but more open than before.
Over the next few weeks, more family members made contact and met with us in a wash, rinse, and repeat of what happened in the first meeting. My Husband and older kids were furious with them all and held a grudge so to speak but my heart was tugged by how much panic had set into each of their lives. some had lost loved ones, some suffered from long covid, and some with vaccine injuries. I felt overwhelming empathy and saw no bang for the buck being vindictive back.
I would call our immediate family Christian – lite. As in no real church-going but lazy believers. But what I have described to you opened that door too and the entire family now attends church weekly. It should not take a crisis to make you change your ways, but it often plays out that way.
It took a few months, but the rest of my brood came around to my thinking and forgave the family members for the way we were treated. We invited all of them to our home on Labor Day and 33 out of 39 attended. Once everyone arrived we gathered in one space as my husband read a short letter to them.
It read:
We are thrilled to see each of you today as we have missed you so much the last year or so. We worried about each of you and felt sadness when illness struck or loss. We wish we could have been there for each of you in your time of crisis.
The whole world was thrown into a crisis when covid hit and such a complex issue caused great confusion and fear for us all. Please know we do not want to look back only forward. We do not want any of you to feel you must now explain your actions towards us or feel guilt. We accept fully, that like Stella and I, you each made the best decisions for your family at the time with the information given. We love you all and feel blessed to share our lives with you again -Now let’s chow down!
Not one has approached to say I am sorry – and that is ok. Forgiveness is for the one doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven. I will not sugar coat it – it’s still hard at times when feelings surface and the anger creeps in, but we work hard to look ahead not behind and allow grace. People need space to heal.
Having contact with our loved ones again has more than been a positive and I am so proud of my little family for letting go of the hostilities. None of us know what lies ahead in a world that feels out of control – so I hope and pray this letter helps others in similar circumstances.
God Bless you Ms. Anyhooo…
Signed: Stella, no longer estranged, from Ohio
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My dearest Stella,
Ms. Anyhooo finished off an entire Kleenex box reading your humble and brimming with love and empathy, letter.
Precious, I have a confession – lately, even yours truly, has been on the struggle bus! I have found humanity lacking, of late, and my motivation lies in a pool of drool like an old beloved hound dog.
Eureka! The good lord above led you to my column, and I feel my humanity tank start to overflow. I am ever so grateful you made the decision to contact me. My Mam Maw talked a whole lot about showing grace to others, but you and your family personify the meaning of the word.
The lessons your precious children have learned through your example are also priceless. People are destined to be flawed, and Covid has been, pardon my French – a son of a B! The courage and selflessness you have all exhibited are admirable. Knowing when to not kick a person when they are on their knees is also admirable.
On behalf of all my precious readers, let me just say – we feel blessed by your sharing of your journey and the teachings in your message.
God bless you lil haint, and always keep the family together.
Ms. Anyhooo
Ms. Anyhooo writes for the Right Wire Report, who provides common sense down-to-earth answers to your personal relationships on love, life, and everything in between. Spun from the heart of the Tennessee mountain country, follow her on the hashtag #DearAnyhoooAnswers (save this link to your favorites bookmarks). If you have any questions for Ms. Anyhooo to answer please send them to anyhooo@rightwirereport.com or Contact Us.
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source https://rightwirereport.com/2022/09/18/dear-anyhooo-answers-estranged-family-over-covid-vaccines-have-a-come-to-jesus-meeting/
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